i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
