Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Randomize
