I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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