He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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