She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Dear god my vagina.
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