Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
