We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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