the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
