Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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