ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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