he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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