i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
