Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
