I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
