never play flip cup with pint glasses
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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