He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
