Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
