Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
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