Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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