once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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