she was so not down for the gang bang
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
