Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
