Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
