i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
