the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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