I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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