it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
