I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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