I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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