Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
