Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
