erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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