If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
