all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
