why didn't you poke me back
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
