If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
