did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
