So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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