the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
