I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
