what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
