jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
