help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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