on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I still have a little drunk in my system
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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