I want to have your abortion
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
