Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
