you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
there was a trapeze. enough said
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
