What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
