The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
