hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize
