girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
